When I went to Florida last I went to see the wide variety of beasties in the Everglades and Disney Land. This meant that I missed out on the undiscovered treasure that is The Holy Land Experience.
There are many ways to acquire a god. You can listen to the nice people on the high street as they force a book into your hand and demand a donation of no less than £5, undergo some horrific (and often self inflicted) personal tragedy to emerge born again, be kidnapped, be lost, fall into it, or you can pay a mere $29.99 and enter into the light that is consumer friendly version of the Holy Land (ethnic bloodshed not included).
You might ask why the US needs its own personal version of Jesus' birthplace when the real thing is still alive, kicking and offering bloodshed for all the family. Its existence is justified by the demonstration of "the living truths of the Bible in innovative ways through state-of-the-art exhibits, dynamic musical-dramatic performances, and specialized tours of our Jerusalem model." Somehow the concept of Jesus tap dancing whilst healing lepers doesn't appeal.
Leaving your god and religion behind can be a hard thing to do, unless like my local branch of Christian Scientists your headquarters vanish in the night leaving only the foundations and rumours of alien abduction. Amongst the easier options are: drinking a refreshing glass of punch, being burnt alive by someone who thinks they are the Virgin Mary, or being put in jail for a combination of murder and graffiti. Alternatively, you can break one of The Holy Land Experience's many rules:
No video cameras or photos
No food
We reserve the right to ask anyone to leave who is, in our judgment, wearing inappropriate or immodest attire
If our staff observes a guest engaging in inappropriate behaviour (i.e., drunkenness, lewd and lascivious conduct, etc.), The Holy Land Experience reserves the right to remove the individual from the premises.
Apparently their God is somewhat inflexible about the sorts of people he wants to discover his power and glory. They even have a "Worship Code" where they "reserve the right to remove anyone (or any group of people) from the facilities if their religious activity, in our judgment, causes a disturbance" - meaning anyone planning on jiving with the Lord should reconsider and just go worship Mickey Mouse.
